Silenced Angel Story

Sum up:

Silenced Angel is a person who suffered workplace harassment, a traumatic divorce, and was a victim of violence from her ex-husband. She currently has facial and eye paralysis and has trouble swallowing. She has all these physical problems because they forced her to take antipsychotics. The facial paralysis was caused by the antipsychotic and the Psychiatry system was so cruel to her and psychiatrists had so little ethics that they end up declaring her not mentally capable and force her to continue taking what caused her facial paralysis against her will. 

Although her case seems exceptional, it is the case of many people who are forced to take psychiatric drugs even when those drugs harm their health and even without being declared mentally capable. Nowadays, people are kept locked up using the police force in psychiatric centers for not wanting to take what they call medication. Psychiatrists are pushing people to take psychiatric drugs despite the fact that they seriously harm people’s health using different unethical methods. Politicians allow it. Society looks the other way. Sometimes they push them to take the antipsychotic even knowing that they are damaging the person until the neurological injuries are irreversible.

Full story:

This is her story written by herself.

Like my story, there are many others, that’s true, but it is my story and between despair and letting myself be carried away by fatalism, I resist believing the “truths” that come from a totally destructive, abusive and coercive system, which I must go through with their manipulations and lies: The judicial and psychiatric system. 

It is something that reminds me again and again of the situation of the hamster who lives his life spinning in a wheel, without exit and without hope of freedom, autonomy, responsibility, friendship, respect, honesty, and appreciation.

2004 was my debut as a psychiatric patient. At that time, harassment in my work place led me to a diagnosis of stress and anxiety, which pushed me away from my work practice for a few months. They prescribed me medication, I do not remember the names but they had side effects on my physical and mental activity, so I decided under my responsibility to get off them and take responsibility.

Unfortunately, in 2013 I went to the same specialist referred by the GP, and I was diagnosed with Psychosis, they did not prescribe any type of medication. A contentious divorce, unleashed a strong depression in me, my ex-partner was dismissing me, and I decided to go to a law firm that suggested I see a mental health professional. The pharmacological treatment was risperidone. The headaches they caused me during the first week ended up taking me to the emergency room of a prestigious psychiatric clinic in Bilbao (Spain) where I was involuntarily admitted for 15 days. The previous days were without visitors or calls. After admission, no medication was prescribed, although my family insisted that I was not feeling well, and this time I was prescribed xeplion. The first dose caused me an anxiety crisis, tachycardia, and emotional numbness. They recommended me to go to the day center, I didn’t, because it was ruining me economically.

Later, I tried to get back to my professional or work life. I had studied psychology, worked in Human Resources, and when I returned to it, I tried to prepare a complaint about the violation of rights that this situation had caused me.

Psychiatric hospitalization is always traumatic, I do not know anyone, who does not remain stuck

there, in the confinement, in how the rights are violated daily, including the right to life, in the more or less explicit coercions that are received, in the emotional blackmails, in the emotional and intellectual kidnapping that the person suffers.

I was a year without treatment, without medication. Obviously I didn’t improve. My financial situation prevented me from getting back to my past life. A “normal life».

After a time, I received a judicial notice, in which the prosecution requested my incapacitation and psychiatric evaluation. All this after an involuntary admission, in a real insane asylum, the Zamudio hospital, where they, not only over medicated me but they also denied me from seeing my visitors, tied me up, denied me external communication, blocked my calls. My identity, hope, and desire to live was destroyed. Police forced my hospitalization, which unleashed an anxiety crisis in me as soon as I saw them.

Since then, I am obliged to get xeplion injections, if I deny I would end up locked up in a psychiatric unit.

In my consultations with the nurse, since I did not see the psychiatrists again, interviews are very manipulative, and the information is greatly misrepresented.

I have received several diagnoses, psychosis, paranoid schizophrenia, fibromyalgia, endometriosis and finally, even although public health denies it, I have facial paralysis because of the medications. I suffer discomfort swallowing, everything started with an acute headache. I understand that this is a side effect of the medication and of course of not being surrounded by a climate of love and affection.

After a disability request, the next step they proposed to me is to go through a day-care center.

I am very clear that my disability is caused by treatment, both pharmacological and institutional, and mental health practices that are used in health systems, sometimes we should call them “systems that create diseases”. It ended up chronifying a situation in which the simple thing had been to protect the victim of violence in a safe space, not a psychiatric one.

I contacted you, lawyers, and there was nothing to do. Do we really have to live our whole lives fearing what they can do or say of us? 

These are all the consequences:

Psychological: After an involuntary lock-up in a hospital unit, I had to attend therapy even though they were harassing me.

Social: The side effects of the medication are such that getting up in the morning, seeing my body and face totally disfigured, discourages me from continuing to live. I cannot go back to my profession or another area in which I would have been suitable.

Personal: The loss of purchasing power, and the physical consequences, suppose a huge loss of surroundings and friends, I lost my daughter in custody, too.

Economics: how can you survive without a job?

The hard part is that it is a system that does not stop, that beheads you, invalidates you, destroys your identity, and there comes a time when you don’t even know who you are anymore. They act like a sept.

Anyway, this is my story, I don’t want to go on.

Hopefully many circumstances will improve. What I can say is that they leave us in situations that are absurd even to denounce the system.

The helplessness we feel is so big, that they make us not only be hopeless with our professions and dreams, but with our whole lives.

They lead us to suicide, when we are aware of all the skills, relationships, possibilities that we have lost because of them, and all this thanks to their desire to demonstrate their professional superiority, defend their prestige… at the cost of our own health.

Silenced Angel